How to Build a Super Fantastic Community

Hi everyone,

I hope you are all doing well with the in-between time! Its been a good, challenging, and fun phase for me so far, I hope the same goes for all of you.

As all of you know, I possess all of the knowledge there is to know about living in community (I’ve done one year in a JVC community, so pretty much an expert right here). Ok, maybe not, but I thought I’d list a few of the most helpful practices that I came across in the past year. Big shout out to Maddie, Edwin, and Rose for already doing great, thought-provoking posts on community, so I’ll try to keep this one short and sweet.

Pin pricks – Everyone has their pet peeves. Dirty dishes left in the sink, using the blender at 6am, leaving hair in the drain, you name it. Set aside a quick, intentional time to voice what’s getting on your nerves (in a non-accusatory, I-statement format, of course). It’s a great way to air out the little stuff so that it doesn’t turn in to the big stuff. If there’s intentional time set aside for talking about little things that annoy you, it makes it a whole lot easier to clear the air and keep tensions low.

Fist to five – Making group decisions is hard. Deciding which movie to watch, where to go grocery shopping, and everything else can get tedious when there are a lot of people involved. A quick way to make sure everyone’s voice is heard is to use fist to five. For example, a community may have to decide whether they want to spend community night building a blanket fort or not. Everyone involved throws up fingers to accurately indicate their enthusiasm level (hopefully everyone would put five fingers up in this scenario). Obviously this is not applicable to some of the harder decisions your community will have to make, but its good for the everyday one’s that keep coming up.

The challenge jar – A great idea to keep challenging your community to grow in new ways throughout the year(s). Everyone writes a few challenges on slips of paper and puts them in to a jar. For example, this week we will have an energy fast. Each week the community pulls a slip and takes the challenge on. It’s a good way to experiment with creative challenges and it keeps it varied and interesting enough to not feel like a chore.

Pray together the community that prays together stays together! Ok, so maybe not that cliché – but the times that our community was strongest was when we kept coming back to spirituality night every week and getting vulnerable with eachother. If we kept it consistent, any tension that built up during the week didn’t stand a chance when we came together for Monday night spirituality nights – anything from examens, to collages, to meditation.

Be silly – I don’t have much of an explanation for this one. We’re all making a serious commitment, working in challenging situations, and trying to do a really good job at it. Community has to get silly or it gets way too serious. Have fun, we all know how to do that!

3 months and counting, love to all of you!

Emily