"Come here friend, and listen to my story"

Well, admittedly, this was the topic I hoped I would get to write about...but now I am actually facing the daunting task at hand, staring at a white sheet of paper with that obnoxious cursor blinking, and not sure entirely what to write about. I’m sure that this is a common feeling, especially in this group, but I often catch myself doing laps in my head about different justice topics...Chemical Warfare in Syria, healthcare in politics, food ethics in general, GMOs labeling in Washington, guns everywhere, rape in Guatemala, international development ethics in Egypt/everywhere, women’s rights in Saudi Arabia, etc. I struggled in deciding what or how to even approach writing a blog on justice. WHAT THE HECK DOES JUSTICE EVEN MEAN? For example, a friend and I were talking a few weeks ago about guns. We both are fighting for a world  where we can feel safe and violent discrimination does not occur...but this friend felt the need to buy a gun to protect himself. Same ends (arguably...ish), but different means to the end. His interpretation of justice is so far different than mine, but not… It is the conversations like these and the government shutdown that I go around in circles like a Looney Tunes cartoon and seemingly burn up the carpet by doing so. I’ll save this for a dissertation later though...

So then I thought about what would be helpful for us to be thinking about as we prepare for departure/arrival soon. The more I thought about it...the more I was able to revel in actual questions of justice that don’t seem too overwhelming (correction, are a bit more approachable to think about, not a ton easier though, ha), but also will result in less of a rant and hopefully a good reminder.

The justice of listening.

It was a few months ago, and I was sitting in a small legal office with peach walls. A 26 year old mother who didn’t have an education beyond the 5th grade sat before me with her hands in her lap nervously tugging on the plastic bag she had brought with her. We began asking her a few questions to which she quickly replied with short answers in a staccato-like voice. Then we asked her why her voice mattered...why her identity as a woman empowered her instead of made her inferior in society..why women have and deserve rights. Her voice changed from the high-pitched nervous replies to a strong, steady voice, with an unwavering reply. The interview suddenly became a chance for her to open up and express her thoughts. The answers were inspiring, and the tone of the interview changed. Her dreams of becoming a lawyer to how she was raising her daughter to be an empowered woman...It was a really beautiful, encouraging, hope-filled interview to witness.

I was quite fortunate to sit in on several of these interviews, but equally as many where women were just beginning to talk about their stories and the different injustices they had experienced. Basically, it was a chance for them to give a testimony of sorts, but it was also an incredible experience of listening and receiving and witnessing. This honest, vulnerable, truth-filled conversation brought both sides, from two completely different social locations (me being, well, me, and the woman being a Guatemalan), into a room to share stories and accompany each other. The root meanings of accompaniment literally mean to share bread together...to come to a table seeking to find equality and mutuality to create community. This is a step...but it isn’t enough.

Another story that has been highly impactful was Magé, my professor and friend in Argentina. We were in class, having a conversation around the US’s role in the Dirty War, which lead to a broader conversation around the voice, or lack thereof, that people from the Global South have. She stared us in the eye and beseeched us to use this opportunity of living abroad to learn, marinate, listen, and understand. As US citizens with the privilege of an education, the US passport, and countless other privileged identities, we have a voice that echoes and that is listened to in a corporate, capitalistic, monetary-driven world. Thus, it becomes part of our responsibility as women and men for others to be not only compassionate and open to listening, but to choose to move in the world differently to honor the stories and the people that have walked with us as we have walked with them. It becomes our responsibility to commit to acting as advocates for the voiceless and to empower them. This is an honor and a privilege to sit in the kitchens of mothers and grandmothers, to sit at the dinner table with fathers and grandfathers, to witness children learning and playing. Listening is a step, but I pray and hope that the justice of listening (the receiving and the telling) doesn’t just stop there, but changes the way we move in the world.

I hope this doesn’t sound like a privileged white person trying to use and abuse the inevitable power that my social location grants me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m such a huge advocate of self-reflection and understanding the doors that are opened virtually automatically to me with who I am/look like/come from. Yet, I just want to push a bit further to see what sphere of influence I have...what circles of power I can step foot in and start advocating in. Listening is the first step towards creating change.

So, a few parting questions for reflection:

How do I imagine listening and starting up conversations with the community I will be living in--both in the JVC house and the towns/cities?

How will I enter into conversations with my shoes off, humbly, and with my feet grounded?

What have I learned from previous service/accompaniment experiences? What has been positive? What has been tough?

And...this is a lofty one that I don’t necessarily want to impose or say...but going to anyways. Ha. How do I imagine honoring the stories and relationships I will make in the future?

Justice and Forgiveness?

“Social justice” is a large topic (understatement of the year?). Knowing I had to write this post, I’ve been thinking about which sub-topic I would choose to make it a little more manageable. Recent events in my life have led me to ponder the complexities of forgiveness more than usual. Do forgiveness and justice have a relationship? I thought this would be a smaller topic to tackle and turns out, it’s absolutely not. Bare with me while I attempt to unpack a tiny piece of it.

For the sake of context or understanding me without thinking I’m totally crazy, I hope some of you can relate to my experience of “best friend turned more turned ambiguous complicated relationship turned all out failure.” Without using the actual words, we’ve both decided it’s healthiest for us to walk away right now, and boom: broken relationship. What are the roles of forgiveness here, on both sides of the equation? How does forgiveness in my personal life relate to forgiveness of larger, systemic injustice issues, if at all?

In my experience, forgiveness has not been one of the “social justice buzzwords,” and I feel like it should have a greater presence. I believe that social justice begins with right relationship, and forgiveness is a definite step in the direction of forming right relationship. Right relationships are formed when the dignity of each human being is recognized and upheld, at the very least. If I am not in right relationship with those closest to me, how can I preach or work for a stronger global community to live in right relationship to create a more just society for the future?

As I was working on this post, I got a little caught in my head so I e-mailed one of my mentors at Xavier. He reminded me that though forgiveness is a two-way street, it is a three party relationship: forgiver, forgiven, healer (God). In my recent situation, I had been trying to feel the effects of forgiveness solely through my intellect and with God, leaving out the other person entirely, and it wasn’t working (surprise!). Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” It may take longer than we would hope in our personal relationships for all parties to offer/accept forgiveness (though God is always ready and willing immediately, once we ask) because it doesn’t work on our time schedule. Forgiveness is ultimately God’s to give; forgiveness does not “belong” to us.

We don’t get to decide to forgive and then magically have everything snap into good-standing. (Bummer.) Similarly, justice does not “belong” to us, either. That is also God’s to give, but these gifts are channeled through us as beings in relationship with one another. As Dean Brackley said, “Healing, liberating forgiveness is a gift we cannot force. If it comes ultimately from God, however, it normally comes through others. It is channeled by people who accept and forgive us in their own human way.”

Like our own personal relationships, in many situations in need of social justice, there’s often a lot of hurt present; if forgiveness and justice are not ours to ultimately give on our own, how can we help heal or work towards an elimination of that hurt? Why do we work for social justice? How do we be that channel? We can pray for God’s healing mercy. I feel like this piece is often lost in a lot of talk regarding social justice, yet is so important if we are to move forward in a stronger, more loving, more just world. We focus on issues that lead to the problems of injustice, and we focus on creating relationships and solidarity with those suffering, but do we talk about the forgiveness needed to help heal all involved? One article I found stated it well:

… Justice focuses not on the past but on the future--on building a just future characterized by peace, by shalom, which means not mere absence of conflict and harm but positive well-being, a world in right relationship. ... 

Forgiveness, as we’ve been describing it, is virtually the same thing. It works by     maintaining a basic sense of community with the rest of the human race and by     looking forward, even when there is little encouragement from the data, to a time when    others will join us in God’s household for the creation of a new world. Justice seeks the    world of shalom, the life of the age to come. It will do nothing that would make such a     world impossible. It will do anything that might actually bring it closer. It will even     forgive. Instead of dedicating ourselves, then, to the impossible task of getting the past     right, we find ourselves freed by forgiveness to live fully in the present and to begin    building something new and better.

My first reaction to reading something like this would probably be, okay, so what do I do now? More Dean Brackely helped me here:

The experience of acceptance and forgiveness empowers us to face our part in the evil of the world. The New Testament says that God offers this forgiveness no matter what we have done—not because we are good, but because God is good. People we have offended and other victims can mediate that healing and liberating news. Of course, it takes two to reconcile. Our part in the bargain includes admitting our faults and changing.

The doing item here, then, is being aware of and making changes to our own actions. That’s what we can do and can control. Another article I came across by a professor at Gonzaga University, stated: “Socially, both forgiveness and the disciplined process of reconciliation draw us into a crucible from which we can emerge more refined, more willing to see the heart of another, and more able to create just and lasting relationships.” If we can turn inward and learn to continually seek forgiveness in our current personal relationships, which are small (but important) in the grand scheme of the world, we can better learn seek it on a much larger scale, can be examples for others, and pray that reconciliation, healing, and a brighter future can take place through God’s granting.

Though we may live in a broken world with broken relationships, God’s love and God’s justice are perfect and always present. It is our job to be in right relationship with God and others so that we can be channels of that love and justice for those who need it. For now, I’ll start small by admitting my own faults and working on that change in my life, in hope of a brighter future for all.